Funny Jokes - Survival Weekend
The SAS, the Army and the Police go on a survival weekend together to See who comes out top. After some basic exercises, the trainer tells them their next objective is to go down into the woods and come back with a rabbit for tea.
First up the SAS
They don their infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the Woods information. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by a single Muffled shot. They emerge with a rabbit, shot cleanly through the forehead. 'Excellent' says the trainer.
Next up are the Army
They finish their cans of lager, cover themselves in camouflage cream, Fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of machine gun fire, mortar bombs, hand grenades and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge carrying the charred remains of a rabbit. 'A bit messy, but you got a result. Well done' says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the Coppers, walking slowly hands behind their backs Whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie talkie. 'Sierra oscar lemur one, suspect headed straight for you, etc.. After what seemed an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in hand cuffs. 'What the hell do you think you're doing'? asks the incredulous trainer. 'Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit, like I asked you 5 hours ago'!
So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, day turns to night. The next morning the trainer and the rest of the crew are awakened by the police, holding the squirrel, now covered in bruises. 'Are you taking the piss'? asks the seriously irate trainer. The police team leader shoots a glance at the squirrel, who squeaks: 'Alright, alright, I'm a fucking rabbit'!
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