Funny Jokes - Calling it a night (female version)
YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN:
* You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
* You're wearing someone else's shoes.
* You've just had to get someone to help you pull your knickers up in the ladies room.
* You suddenly decide you want to start a fight with 'some bitch'.
* In your last trip to the bathroom you realise you now look more like Gail from Coronation Street than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
* You drop your 3:00am chips on the floor of Top Kebab and pick them up & carry on eating.
* You start crying.
* There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
* You've found a deeper side to nerdy Derek from the finance department.
* The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
* You've forgotten where you live.
* You start to sound like Tina Turner from the cigarettes you've smoked.
* Oh, and as you have mentioned 10 TIMES by now, you only smoke when you drink.
* You yell at the barman, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.
* You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza..
* You start every conversation with a booming, 'Don't take this the wrong way but...'
* You fail to notice that the toilet lids down when you sit on it.
* Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
* You no longer smell of Chanel No.5 and instead reek of pot-pourri of stale cigarette smoke and Heineken
* You just HAVE to tell your friends that you love them so much, just one more time.
* You're at a table of strangers, flashing your tits, and you don't remember how you got there.
* You're so tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!)
* Your handbag is dancing around YOU!
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