Funny Jokes - Elvis vs. Jesus

JESUS is the Lord's shepherd. ELVIS dated Cybill Shepherd.

JESUS was a carpenter. ELVIS' favorite high school class was wood shop.

JESUS was part of the Trinity. ELVIS' very first band was a trio.

JESUS' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members. ELVIS' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

JESUS is a Capricorn. (December 25) ELVIS is a Capricorn. (January 8)

JESUS was the lamb of God. ELVIS had mutton chop sideburns.

JESUS' Father is everywhere. ELVIS' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

JESUS said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink."  (John 7:37) ELVIS said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)

JESUS fasted for 40 days and nights. ELVIS had irregular eating habits. (eg: 5 banana splits for breakfast)

JESUS said: "Man shall not live by bread alone." ELVIS liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

"[JESUS'] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." (Matthew 28:3)  ELVIS wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.

JESUS said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39) ELVIS said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA 1956)

JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25) ELVIS surfed on water.  (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965)

JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters. ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters.

JESUS had his famous Resurrection. ELVIS had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land. ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state.